It’s Thursday so I’m playing along with Yay for Home except this week my “I know” post is more “things I want to know”.
I want to know…When did I become so socially inept?
I know I’m an extrovert by nature.
I know talking is what I do best.
I know I’ve never been part of the in-crowd per say, but I’ve always had plenty of friends, felt confident and comfortable in groups and managed to strike up conversations with randoms fairly easily.
I know something has changed. I can never say the right thing anymore. I get tongue-tied and things never come out the way I intend. All to frequently I find myself saying completely inappropriate stuff (especially at work) and am constantly apologising for my social ineptitude and looking for the closest rock to crawl under.
I know I’ve become the epitome of the social faux pas.
I know I suffer a constant case of “Mouth is open, should be closed”
I know the excuse of baby-brain is getting old. Sleep deprivation is no doubt a contributor, but these days to a lesser degree. So why am I so socially impaired? It’s getting to the point I want to avoid social situations. I feel anxious at the very prospect of interacting with people on anything more than a superficial level. Even family.
I know I must resist the temptation to become a hermit and only communicate with the outside world through social media, where I can consider and proofread my interactions before putting them out there.
I know this is the reason I’m drawn to blogging – it’s one of the few social arenas where I can excercise any sort of filter. Draft, read, edit, reread, re-edit, reread, publish!!
What I really want to know is, has the process of having children killed off half my brain cells? Surely this can’t be the sole cause of my fall from the step stool of social grace, on which I was once precariously perched? Perhaps it is further evidence of the evil ‘D’ word about which I remain firmly in denial (someday I will muster the courage to post about it).
I want to know if I’ll ever be socially confident again…
Do you suffer from social anxiety? If so, how do you deal with it?
Née Say 
Well – you cant be socially dysfunctional 100%.. because im still inviting you down here to visit.
u can bring your tribe, they can trash my house (with help of my 3) and you can speak gibberish to me all you like.. Im so totally unfazed these days it would pass by easily with a smile… ahhhh now, that’s friendship 🙂
Hopefully we’ll get there someday very soon xxx
Totally get what you’re saying and I think that yes baby brain and sleep deprivation do kill of your brain cells. I’ve decided I”ll never be that sharp clear headed person again. Never mind. I think you have to re-invent yourself after motherhood – it really changes you. I’m softer as a person and think differently now. This can be a good thing but you really do have to learn to just laugh off the silly stuff you do. Us other mums totally get it :O)
Motherhood definitely changes you. Somedays I’m dubious as to whether it’s for the better. I think re-inventing yourself is a great way of looking at it. Time for me to carve out who I want to be, I think x
Gosh, I know this feeling – well sort of, only I’ve never had social aptitude, so I haven’t lost it per se. The net is great though, I definitely agree with that. I do wonder though if it acts so much as a buffer that it actually makes people like me (who have always been socially inept) feel that they don’t need to bother learning the skills needed in face to face social situations. Or that for those people who had it might lose it? (not saying that is what happened to you – see, can you see why I don’t have social aptitude?)… I wonder if this new world of social media is diminishing face to face social skills for a lot of people… Maybe this is the beginning of a lost art?
I think you maybe onto something there and it is very tempting to hide behind the computer screen constantly. I cringe at the thought of losing the few social skills I have left!
Add me to the list as well. What gets me the most though is that I honestly thought I was the only one to go through these things, I can’t begin to explain how awesome it is to know that I am not actually alone.
Another reason to be grateful for blogging isn’t it? x
Oh, this is soooo me! I had a similar conversation with a friend a few months back about how our brains will never quite be the same again after having kids, no matter what the experts say. She runs an extremely successful business and says her brain is half of what it used to be pre-kids! A bit sad, really!
🙂
Goodness I wish I was a pharmacist. There is obviously a market for a brain-booster for mum’s!
I know exactly what you mean. I feel like it’s taken months (years) of practice to return to social ability. I’m an extrovert too and love social situations but I had a long long phase of feeling completely inept and saying seriously daft things regularly.
I still do it sometimes and I hate how it makes me feel. But I’m getting bettr and honestly I think it is practice? Sounds so silly, but having to engage with new people a fair bit lately seems to have put the manners back on me somewhat.
I just feel like such a bimbo some days but you are write talking about teletubbies with my 2 year old isn’t practising the full gammott of my social skills. Mental note: get out more x
And I can’t even spell in blog comments!
The more kids, the more brain cells I have sacrificed. And they just don’t seem to grow back.
I used to be a social butterfly. Always visiting friends, talking on the phone… all that “social” stuff. Now I don’t. I like visiting, but I don’t live near any of my friends anymore. I hate talking on the phone. I avoid it like the plague.
Blogging is my outlet. My connection to the outside world.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to get out there. It’s just a little hard these days with so many kids & living out of town.
Oh and foot in mouth disease with a side dish of tongue tie.. yep I have that too.
Is it too hopeful to think that foot in mouth is the new black? 😉
Trust me, your brain will grow back 🙂
I hope you’re right!!
After almost a year of being house bound with twins, I thought I’d never be able to hold a conversation again. But you do. Trust me 🙂
I live in hope 🙂
I used to be a very social person but it has changed dramatically over the last few years.Spending time with people os now very hard and I find making phones calls is panic making.
gentle hugs
So relieved to know I’m not alone. Thank you xx
I also wish I had a delete button on some occasssions, my filter often lets me down. Sometimes it also lets me down on my blog, I read it, re-read it, publish the post and then thing ‘Shit there is a spelling mistake or that grammar really sucks! How did I miss that?”
Oh just like in the one I have just posted – re-read and sure enough there is a spelling mistake hehe
I do this ALL the time!
lol @ “Draft, read, edit, reread, re-edit, reread, publish” followed by more re-reading, and then re-reading again. I think I just like the sound of my own voice/written word! I get tongue twisted alot too and then stumble over my words or cant get them out, which is kinda embarrassing. Im not sure if its baby brain or lack of sleep….I only sleep about 3 or 4 hours a night so it could be. The other day I couldn’t think of my debit card Pin No. for the life of me – this is the card I use every day at least 10 times…..how can I possibly forget the number – it was like I had a complete mental blank for 48 hours. I think as we get older its harder to make friendships, fit in, feel like we belong, etc. I belong to a choir which has about 60 women in it and that has been very good for keeping me socially active conversation-wise otherwise I could go for 7 days without speaking to anyone over the age of 8!
Oh lord, I do that stuff all the time. I wonder if it’s early onset dementia? 😉
I love being able to “Draft, read, edit, reread, re-edit, reread” with my blog. If only our mouths had the same option. You are not the only one xx
Thanks for making me feel better 🙂
Totally agree on not wanting to communicate on superficial nonsense.. over that! I know that staying indoors is sometimes so much more enjoyable and exciting 🙂
I wish my mouth had an ‘edit’ button sometimes Nee. I find I only mix with other Mums who are the same as me. I remember laughing at my Mum when she used to stumble on words and go through all our names (including the pets) before she got the right one. I do that all the time now. I sound like a real dickhead sometimes. Maybe I need to go back to Grade 1! LOL
Anne xx
I know what you mean Anne. So often I think I’m turning into my mother!