This is one of those posts that I didn’t intend to write. I had something else drafted for today but feel the need to ventilate… ahh the beauty of the blog.
I’m feeling deeply frustrated by the dawning realisation that much of the stress in my life is brought about by other people.
I’ve written about my control issues in the past and the actions (or inactions) of other people are definitely out of my control.
I can not control other people’s expectations.
I can not control other people’s perceptions or reactions.
I can not instill in other people values or behaviours that I believe to be more appropriate and effective than their default modus operandi.
I CAN control my expectations, perceptions, reactions and behaviours. Yet even though I can openly acknowledge these facts, still, so much of my energy goes into worrying about those “other people”.
Please excuse these ramblings of a frustrated soul. I vowed to give up worrying this year…
I just wish I knew how.
Do you waste energy stressing about other people? If not, please tell me you do it!!
Linking up with Jess at Diary of a SAHM for
Highly appropriate image from We Heart It
Née Say 
I did, but I’m gradually adopting a sod it all attitude toward them.
It’s quite liberating.
Good on you! I aspire to that state.
I don’t stress about other people, but I used to! I think I got to a point where I realised I needed to be more worried about myself and my family than anybody else! It’s hard though! It can be so so so FRUSTRATING to be let down or misunderstood!
It’s the game playing that gets me. Good to hear you have overcome it, gives me hope I’ll beat it one day too! x
Reading that I am not the only crazy mother of boys in the world who takes on far too much ‘guk’ that I dont own really soothes me 🙂 Thankyou for that realisation xx One day I too will learn to shake it off, worry only about whats in these 4 walls & be at peace with the drama…. ahh one day.
Anytime you need to compare notes on ‘crazy’ you know where I am xx
I’ve tried to let these situations go by reminding myself how stressing over the other gives more power to the negative, feeding it even, and often, they may have moved on and couldn’t care less anymore so I’m really wasting my time focusing on them.
I have a couple of quotes that came to mind with your post:
“Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles; it takes away today’s peace.” (http://pinterest.com/pin/228276274831878338/)
And….
“When I give you my time, I’m giving you a portion of my life that I will never get back. So don’t waste it.” (http://pinterest.com/pin/228276274831930332/) or my paraphrase for your situation, “When I give someone (or something) my time, I’m giving them (it) a portion of my life that I will never get back. So I shouldn’t waste it.”
Here’s hoping you find a way through it.
Thanks Veronica, I love these quotes and definitely need to keep them in mind x
I so get this hun – most of my stress is also bought on by other people and their pain in the ass ways. I stew on things too which makes it so much worse for myself. xx
I stew as well. I’m probably the human version of a slow cooker 😉
Oh I hear you!
Last year a very good friend of mine made some stupid decisions, and her whole world just completely fell apart. I tried to be there, and help her, but she wouldn’t listen to reason, and our friendship more or less disintegrated. It wasn’t too sad for me when she decided to move interstate, but I also felt frustrated that she was trying to run from these problems she had caused herself.
Finally, I realised I had to let it go. I was getting so worked up over a situation that had nothing to do with me, and was not worth the stress it was causing. I said goodbye, hugged her, and let her go happily. I can’t make her decisions for her, they are hers.
It took me a lot to get to that point, but it was so incredibly liberating when I did. Good luck with your arseholes. I hope you get some peace soon. Xxx
Oh Jess, that sounds like an awful situation to be caught in. So hard not to get caught up in other people’s drama sometimes.
Oh it’s a tough one indeed – a good vent helps though. Thank goodness for blogs!! 🙂
It certainly does! Blogging can be so liberating.
Oh Nee, I totally get this and have no idea how to stop it, sorry!
Hope you find a way. xx
Thanks Amy. Glad I’m not alone x
Ohhh I do! And I need to change it! Although not as much as I used to. I’m finding my “I am so not wasting my energy on your negative” side these days.
Good on you! I need to make this my mantra.
I know how you feel. I have certain people whose differing values get under my skin. But like you say, they’re not going to change. They’re quite happy being them. So, why make yourself unhappy stressing over it? If however those values or lack of them infringes on my children’s safety/privacy/innocence – then watch out. Mama lion, over and out. Roar.
I hear you, Laney! I have a particular situation where I’m the one who is being “infringed” on (for want of a better word) – funny how it’s harder to be assertive for yourself. Different story if it was the kids 🙂
Love the poster! 🙂
I won’t really call it stress, but I will say I get “frustrated” over certain people and their actions. I just can’t fathom their thinking and actions.. Then I mull over it until I get so tired and just push it aside.. until certain things happen again then I think about it again. So tiring. But it’s a gd reminder you brought up that we can only control us, not over people.
Ai @ Sakura Haruka
Very exhausting. I’m a muller til the bitter end 🙂