Puppy vs Toddler


I’ve been feeling a tad clucky lately. I blame TV. We were watching my fave show Bones the other night and the main character is pregnant. Not sure if it was the baby references or the thought of me her having Booth’s baby that got me all weak at the knees.


Dan is adamant there will be no more babies and was under the impression that the recent addition of our puppy would be sufficient to temper any procreational urges I may have. In fact, he went so far as to say that he would prefer to have EIGHT puppies before any more offspring.

Which kinda got me thinking. Puppies and babies/toddlers really do have a lot in common. I mean, apart from the obvious vulnerability and need for love, shelter, yadayada, there’s also the common elements of destructive tendencies, toilet training, boundary testing and a knack for being easily distracted by bright shiny things.

However, if one was to truly look at the pros and cons of having puppies versus small humans, puppies are sure to win hands down every time. For instance:

  • You can lock puppies outside when the pee on your carpet.
  • No one will ever ask if your puppy was breastfed, co-slept, had a dummy or used cloth nappies.
  • People get funny about children on leashes. Even purpose built child leashes get frowned upon by some.
  • You can smack a puppy on the nose with a newspaper if they bite you without the risk of the neighbours calling DoCS.
  • A running chain is a socially acceptable option for puppies.
  • A “beware of the toddler” sign is not as effective at scaring unwelcome visitors away.
  • A puppy will never ask to borrow the car when its older.
  • You can desex a puppy and let it roam the streets knowing you won’t become a grandmother before your time.

And of course, the most appealing thing about puppies in my books, this is always an option if you are desperate:

So what say you? Puppy or toddler?








Image from here



  1. Well, they both make a huge mess & give endless love. You make some very valid points there. I too get clucky but 3 kids & 2 dogs is plenty of mess & love. No more of either here!!

  2. Oh man, I think it’s six of one, half a dozen of the other, because you can:
    -Take a toddler to a cafe, locked into a pram, and pretend they aren’t yours while you drink your coffee.
    – Put a toddler down for an afternoon sleep
    – Go on holidays to Bali and pay less for the creche at the resort than it would be for your dog to be in doggy kennel heaven…
    I may or may not have my priorities slightly skewed…
    Love it!

    • These are some very good points & I really appreciate your priorities, although I must say my puppy does sleep a lot better through the day than either of my toddlers ever did 😉

  3. Louise Hughes says:

    Go on… have another baby! You make such beautiful babies. What the world needs is more beautiful things! Just wait till after Tim’s 30th to fall preggas please. There are so bubbly beverages in our future!

    • haha we do seem to have a knack for cooking good humans (if I do say so myself) but I can reassure you without a doubt that Tim’s birthday will in no way be jeopardised 🙂

  4. Aw, but Nee – a puppy can’t say “I wuv you” – actually I think some have been taught to do that (I saw it on Youtube once), so there goes the only “for” argument. Ummm… kids don’t have that doggy smell…

  5. As I am trying to write a reply to this, my toddler is trying to press the keypad buttons on the screen and making the screen go loco…guess a puppy would have a hard time trying to do that…so my vote is for the puppy…. however, it’s a rarity to cost you a minimum $500 each doctors visit with your toddler, as opposed to a vet trip…..thank goodness….

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